EDITOR’S NOTE: Today’s guest column, a special one to me, written by my friend Sandy Wheeler, whom I got to know as the founder and top executive of Bowflex/Nautilus exercise company, the number
one selling exercise equipment of all time. But I later learned that when he returned from his time in the U.S. Navy in Vietnam, he was struck by the fact he was a survivor and some of his closest friends did not survive their wartime tours. And that guided him to create a way for those in active military duty bound for foreign conflicts to create video messages for families waiting at home for them and if they didn’t return, the video memories would be played again and again Now, deciding that the visual memories should not be limited to those in the military, he has created a company called Life’ s Thoughts. so anyone can record video messages for children, grandchildren or friends and “have them securely stored within our digital Vaults then have them released after their race on this earth is finished. the videos will be released at a time your loved ones need you most.” Now he has launched a campaign to raise money to fund the launch of Life’s Thoughts, a company producing and marketing the App that will be baased in his hoemtown of Wenatchee, thoiugh he dosn’t need a lot of money, less than $1 million.
Have you ever experienced bereavement and grief in your life? (YES) If there were a way for you to help your loved ones deal with the grief that will come their way when your life’s journey is complete, would you? (YES)
Most of us reading this column will have answered “yes” to both questions.
There are two significant dates in every person’s life – 1) the date you are born and 2) the date your life is finished, e.g. 1948 – 2025. The “dash” between the dates is the story of your life and how you leave your mark in this world. It’s the DASH that counts.
On April 5, 1970 I was leaving Vietnam after serving there for 18 months. Little did I know but I would arrive home on April 7th to discover that my best friend in high school, Dennis, was killed that very day I left. He would leave behind his wife and an unborn little boy. That little boy would never get to feel the touch of his daddy’s hands nor hear his voice say “I love you”.
Fast forward to August 6, 2011 and a helicopter with the call sign “Extortion 17” filled with Special Operation Forces and in particular 16 SEAL Team 6 members. No one could have guessed that an Afghani SOF member would supply the target while pretending to be their friend. The helicopter was taken out of the sky and all aboard were instantly killed.
One of the E-9 warriors had prepared a video message for his wife and two little boys, just in case something went “wrong”. At the end of his funeral all the lights went dark and up popped a video message. For 6 minutes he talked to his wife and then he talked for the remaining 4 minutes, to two little boys who were going to struggle mightly with the fact that “dad was not coming home”. Whenever the boys were missing dad, mom would hit the play button and here was dad again just talking to his boys and reassuring them that life would go forward and he would always be with them in their hearts. This past year, the oldest boy graduated from Annapolis and headed for the military, just like dad!
Then who can forget January 29, 2025, and the midair collision that took the lives of 64 civilians (people like you and me) and 3 military personnel. I can pretty much assure you, as I have flown many trips throughout my life, there was not one person who boarded that plane that day thinking “I hope I make it home or to my destination today”, they were expecting an uneventful flight and so were all their family members. Then at 9 PM EST the world of many loved ones was suddenly impacted. Every news channel was broadcasting about this horrific crash and as fast as possible family members were notified. You see, none of us know the day nor the hour when our time on earth is finished….we just concentrate on the “Dash (–) work” and that is what we will finish this article with….the (-) Dash Work.
The App is called lifesfinalthoughts and it is an app for every person born. Every one of us will experience bereavement and grief in our life time. Most will experience it multiple times, as the death of a loved one is the number 1 cause of grief. In reality, this app is really focused on parents and even more so for grandparents (I am one at 77 years old), as our physical time on earth is winding down. We are expected to experience death just based on our age.
Most like me, have children and grandchildren. Me? 5 children and 12 grandchildren and I have made it a priority to do “special things” with each of them. I created a summer excursion into the wilderness of the Pacific Northwest. We camp for several days, no cell phone coverage and no internet, just hikes through the mountains, jumping off cliffs into deep water, fly fishing and of course eating lots of good meals. They would each testify that it marks a special time in their life with just dads, grandpas, brothers, sisters and of course cousins. We create special and unique memories with lots of pictures for proof.
The goal of the app is to allow anyone born to create video stories that are designed to help our children, grandchildren, siblings and spouse deal with the grief and painful emotions that will come their way when our race with life on this earth is finished. The app is designed to make it easy to create video stories/messages of encouragement, faith, guidance, instruction and love to those we love the most and have shared this physical life with.
“But, I struggle to start a video. When I look at the camera I just freeze or I can’t think of how to begin my story”. Well you are in luck, we figured out a method guaranteed to help any parent or grandparent begin their story, camera shy or having to deal with cognitive inhibitions. One simply grabs a photograph of the loved one they are making the video for. The picture should remind both you and the person you are creating the video story for, of how amazing the story behind the photograph was and is. Then you turn the camera video on, look into the camera, and just tell your version of the story behind the picture.
I always start like this: “Hi (name of person) do you remember this picture and I show them the picture I am about to share. Then I tell my version of the story reminding them how great it was to share life with them and that I will always love them and anytime they are missing me I encourage them to just play the video again, it is theirs for as long as they desire.
For the recipients, they will see your face in the video and they are going to hear your voice and your message. Not only will your message impact their grief, but your message will give them a break from the emotional pain they are experiencing.
These messages are securely stored through our app, into a designated Virtual Vault, and released to the exact person at just the right time, whether that be at the end of this life, or 15 years into the future for a grandchild’s wedding day. I personally have recorded wedding message for all 12 grandchildren…just in case.